To my fellow donors:
My name is Edward. I was born in Chula Vista, California and moved to the small town of Julian in 2020.
Over the last few years, I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression, which progressively worsened during the covid lockdown. My family has a long history of mental illnesses that have plagued us for some time now, from my grandmother coping with post-traumatic stress to my cousins dealing with Schizophrenia. The result has turned us into very depressed individuals lacking the ability to function correctly in the real world, which has harmful effects on dating, obtaining a job, and pursuing higher education.
In my case, I lost my wife five months ago, and my job in marketing I had for several years because I no longer possessed the qualities that initially had employers and my wife interested in me....(my humor, my positivity and my optimism). I believe this was after my father passed away from lymphoma cancer, which triggered my depression since I was very close to him. He was my best friend and someone I could always rely on.....
Two months ago, I finally gained the courage to seek the help I needed, thanks to some of the resources available on campus. I took the initiative to speak to some psychologists and also received referrals to psychiatrists ( that I am currently setting appointments with). However, Given the current financial situation, I am limited to the amount of out-of-pocket expenses I am subjected to. I have insurance, but low-income insurance doesn't provide the proper support most people need. Thus, there are limitations to when and what I can receive for help and therefore, I cannot attend these sessions as I cannot afford them.
I am hosting this campaign hoping to raise the funds necessary to help me get my life together. My plan of action is as follows:
1. Seek professional therapy to treat my disorder, including my ADHD and severe depression.
2. I'm also behind on my rent and fear I might be kicked out soon. In addition, I am behind on my credit card payments and utility bills due to my unemployment. I am trying to sell whatever possessions I have at the moment to prevent me from going homeless...but.... I do not have much left since my divorce....
3. Buy a burial plot at a columbarium:( a columbarium is a building, often on cemetery property, that holds the ashes of multiple bodies. It's the equivalent of a mausoleum for cremated remains. Each urn is placed in a niche, a small space that holds one urn.) This columbarium will be for my father and for my grandfather and grandmother, who I lost within these last three years.
4. Given the situation with my loss, the most crippling part of this is knowing that someone is suffering more than I am......my mother.....I can only imagine the pain of losing not only a partner but also your mother and your father around the same period. She's the strongest person I know and, rather than showing her pain, she hides it inside. I know it is consuming her daily, and I see her trying to remain positive...lately, she has been exhibiting signs of mental stress that are making her quick to close up on the world and not speak to anyone. I would like more than anything to also have her join me in my path to recovery by also seeking professional help from a certified therapist.
Every penny donated to this campaign will be used to help us turn our lives around and get past these several years of depression that have consumed our lives. I have committed myself to doing what I can to keep myself active in the community, such as helping at outreaches as a way of giving back to the community that has helped me.
I am currently at a dead-end in my life, and thoughts have surfaced about whether I should remain in this world or not..... However, my optimism is keeping me from doing anything foolish. This site has given me hope to try again and not give up.
So my final thoughts are these:
1. With your support, I can find the resources I need to get the medication and therapist needed to help stabilize my mental health and get ready to be a productive member of society again.
2. Your support will help me reduce the amount of debt I accumulated due to lawyer fees from my divorce and the credit card debt incurred because of my unemployment.
3. Your support will also help me get my mother the help she needs before her mental stability collapses.
4. Your support will finally help lay my father,grandmother and grandfather to rest.
For these reasons, I am in desperate need of any help
I have come up with a plan for how the fund will be distributed:
1. The first 20k will be used to get help from professional help for my mother and me by getting a professional psychiatrist and phycologist while also obtaining the medicine needed to help in our path to recovery.
2. The next 10k will help pay for a proper burial at a columbarium for my father, grandmother and grandfather.
3. The final 10k will help pay any immediate debt that I have, such as housing, electricity, food, etc.. along with clearing the accumulated debt from attorney fees and credit card fees that were used to sustain me these last few months.
I cannot find the proper words to express my gratitude to all of you for your help, and I will be grateful for any amount received during my journey to recovery. Every cent donated will bring my mother and I one step closer to this goal and will help bring me back to the cheerful, energetic, positive and reliable man and future husband I was meant to be.
Thank you all again for your generosity!